PART 8 – TWO THINGS THAT CHANGED ME !!!

Posted: July 11, 2009 in My life at xime...
Tags: ,

‘Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you gonna get!’ the famous quote from the Hollywood movie ‘Forest Gump’ and one of my favourite quotes… One should Always be prepared for the unexpected… that’s the second lesson I learned, but through the hard way.

Lot many things were happening in the college during that time and those made college lively. Seniors were gearing up for their final placements and juniors for their summer internship. Go anywhere in the campus, you will see people taking about this very animatedly! For some reason I was not much interested in any of those…

I had something else in my mind, the trip. It was scheduled on a Sunday. As decided, I started collecting money on Tuesday itself. But suddenly I understood that many are backing out! People started giving weird reasons and on the Friday morning I realized that I didn’t have enough money to pay the advance. Only 17 people had confirmed!!!

The excuses given by my friends were really bizarre. I found it hard to buy those… yet…

“Dude, my roommate is not coming. So I don’t think there would be any fun!” As if others were all ‘boring to death’ creatures!

Some opted out as their girlfriends or boyfriends chose not to go for the trip.

There were some who said “boss, I think with this money I can go to multiplex with my girl and have fun!” Ok whatever…

“I am broken … why don’t you make it a free trip?” The trip charge was hardly 200 rupees!!!

I chose not to respond to any of these as I thought I would be humiliating myself by doing so. But my inside was burning… like a fired up sopping piece of wood… I didn’t want to accept the reality that all my hard work was going for a toss…

I had repeatedly sent notifications through common mails and classroom boards since beginning. Still…

The day dragged… I was praying for more response… but nothing happened… nothing at all…

Disappointment turned into irritation which at later phase transformed into fury. By the end of the day, I was boiling with rage and I felt like shouting and screaming at everyone! The animal in me was controlling me then!

Nevertheless, I thought of addressing the class… All I wanted was just to yell at them. With that in mind, I proceeded to the podium…

“Last week I asked for the confirmation and 67 students gave their names”

I displayed that list…

“I clearly mentioned at that time itself not to give your names in case you are not sure of coming. Still you gave. Now look at this sheet. Hardly 20 people!!!”

I paused… Pin drop silence reigned….

“Now does anyone of you know the amount of work we have put into it… Do you know how many times….”

Suddenly I stopped… I realized with horror that my voice was shaking… My voice was getting stuck at my throat!

“What the hell ….” I asked myself… but yes, my heart had already started ruling my head…

I was completely emotional… I couldn’t speak anything else (yes, definitely ‘the’ most embarrassing moment in my life). Nithin took over from there. He tried his level best to make the class understand… but I felt that his words went into the deaf ears!

Nithin was a part of the committee who helped me a lot, both the times, to manage the trip.

Once he finished I said resolutely “I am done. This is the last time … Never again…” With that I walked out…

Yes, I really meant it. I didn’t want to do it again and never did organize any trips thereafter in XIME…

***

For some reason, I didn’t talk much to anyone for the next few days. Nobody did that to me either as they understood that I was bit annoyed…  However people didn’t talk much about the ‘dropped trip’ because there was something else to grab their attention…. Results!!!

This world is a strange place to live in… It is said that when trouble comes, it comes as a package! & all you can do is ‘nothing’…

4.78, that was my score for the second trimester. It gave me a shock of a lifetime. Even after doing a nice job, I ended up in the same band!!! I couldn’t believe it. I believed that I deserved more, not at least the same band! But all I could do was ‘nothing’… because the woods were dark and deep!!!

None of the professors whom I approached could tell me clearly why my grades went low. “Oh, Amal, even I was shocked to see your grade”!!! one replied. Obviously my next question was “Sir, was it not you who put my grade for your subject!!!”…

Well, I learned something there… This is a different game. You have to be different to score here!!! It’s not just what you puke in exams that matter…

These two incidents together had substantial impact on me… I pulled down my gears swiftly and I decided to be invisible…

From then on, it’s a different world to me!!!

To go back to the main page:

https://lapillus.wordpress.com/its-my-life/

To read the previous chapter:

https://lapillus.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/part-7-%e2%80%93-just-before-the-plummet%e2%80%a6/

To the next chapter:

https://lapillus.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/part-9-%E2%80%93-crashed-into-the-rock-bottom/

 

Advertisements
Comments
  1. […] on July 11, 2009 at 10:46 am | Reply PART 8 – TWO THINGS THAT CHANGED ME !!! « Lapillus – the small fragments of lava blown… […]

  2. Rose says:

    some incidents in our life make us change a lot…………………….. i understand that……………………………. but sometimes it is difficult to face the reality and the reactions of the life………….. everybody else says that, take it easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but is it really possible? i don’t know???????????????????????????

    • Amal says:

      absolutely right… its damn easy to give advises & hope… but when it comes to one’s own life… well, he/she finds it extremely difficult… & its the small things tht make differences…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s