Archive for the ‘My thoughts’ Category

Dust & Ashes

Posted: September 2, 2015 in My thoughts

It is where it begins. The truth, the lies, the drama and everything.
Everything now merges into one single form to make sense. Well,
I am complete now for I know where it starts and where I stand.

It is now no longer about me for I am not what I used to be.
Strange, it is, these forced transformations. Uninvited though,
but inevitable as it seems, for we, the humans, cannot turn back the time.

So, the change, the change, the change, I
proclaimed as I wanted everything to change.
Everything in this world except me.

And I was not alone. The Anger, The Pride, The Ego, The Greed,
The Wrath & The Envy stood by me during this quest.
But not for long. And when I fell, I fell alone.

O’ time, only then I realize that it is where it begins. The truth, the lies,
the drama and everything. For a moment I thought I was complete
for I realized that the only thing I can change is me.

But Alas! I was too late for that too, for I have turned into dust and ashes…



Posted: August 2, 2012 in My thoughts
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Wednesday, August 08,2012

I don’t trust tomorrow… She is the strangest girlfriend i suffer everyday!

Monday, August 06,2012

They didnt create media to make people aware of whats happening around; but to function as a medium that can inject, into them, what they want them to know…

Thursday, August 02,2012

The moment you forget the fact that you are alone, the trouble surfaces. All your friends, relatives, love, everything, all of a sudden would seem like fortifying your world. Slowly, you slip into a mesmerizing world of illusion.

The realization, then, would strike you only when the real trouble seeks you. That day you will discover the painful fact, yourself, that everything you thought you had till that day were nothing more than a mirage.

This journey is a lonely quest. You even have to leave what you truly own while departing…

The Pawns – You & Me!

Posted: April 28, 2012 in My thoughts

Till few years back…

People used to respect all inventions. They wondered how Einstein or Edison did it… and they carried a secret ambition of becoming one like them, someday!

The world respected library and knowledge. Folks knew that they had to listen carefully to know more about things they wanted to know. They knew that knowledge was not a thing that came freely or readily available. It was a privilege of only a few; of those who sought it…

Mutual attractions between sexes were common. They were ready to go any extend to gain their love or satisfy their appetite for physical pleasure. But those were a part of life for them… They had a much bigger problem in life: living!


Everything changed in matter of what? Internet and Mobile Technology boomed rashly as if mocking at the life that existed till yesterday. The respect for knowledge and inventions faded somewhere in that brutal journey.

Today, people no longer have to walk to library or listen to professor to gain knowledge… Internet has it all. You just name it!

Today, no one carries any secret ambition that makes him burn his mid night oil. Everyone wants everything fast and no one has the patience to wait for anything…

Mutual attraction is still common. The only difference is that today it’s all about numbers and nothing else… It’s about how many one had!

The world yesterday was not happy or peaceful the way they wanted. But it, definitely, was better than today’s world of luxurious drama. People talk about dreams and aspirations everywhere. But do they really have one? Isn’t everyone’s destiny, in some way or other, attached to money? Isn’t money the sole measuring rod of success in most cases?

Why speak more? How many of you who read this work for something you really cherish deep in heart? Aren’t most of us working for others dream or greed? And why get upset when i call you a Pawn!!!

You don’t even know who the real king or queen is! All you are concerned about are the little black and white blocks ahead of you… Hoping that you would cancel your opponents at some point and change track! And ultimately dreaming about a day when you finally reach the other side of the board to redeem a fortune!

An illusion called life…

Posted: September 19, 2010 in My thoughts
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At one point of time, everyone would realize that their life was a complete failure. It would feel as if it was just another mad race towards a never land. They would wish that they could turn back the time. But! There is no rewind button in life…

At that time, one would even realize that whatever he had till that day was just an illusion; all his physical assets, his relations, character, beauty, attitude & everything, everything was just an illusion… But it’s too late now. He cannot walk back and correct the errors he had made a few years back or say, for that matter, not even those which happened few seconds back.

So, I say, the sooner the better. Every human being learns almost the same thing at the end of his walk. Then he would wish he could change certain things that already had happened. He would wish he could start over again, like in video games! If he were to live again, he would wish to start his life with the level of experience and maturity he had gained at that point of his life…  but!

The creator himself is a cheater here. He takes a fresh seed; configures a fresh memory and sends it to earth. When the seed grows, it picks up things gradually through hard way. Finally, when it acquires enough knowledge to start a new live, the creator would send the demolisher… wipes it out entirely from the face of earth. No one would know where it went or what happened to the things it acquired in its life time! Yes a brutal end to a great warrior!

One might pass some of his learning or experience to the world before leaving here. But certain things die with him; the crucial things, i believe, to live a fulfilling life…  The creator cheats there again. He doesn’t want anyone to learn those in any other way other than the hard way!

When the old speaks, youth gets irritated. A universal law (or flaw)!!! But no blame game here please. It’s just another cheat the creator pulls. The game is designed in such a way that he makes every seed walk the same path; dependent childhood, challenging teens, colors & darkness of love, red hot youth; burdensome middle age, lonely end of the days… ha, I call this a complete drama. According to him, it is justice as everyone learns and walks the one and the same thing/way. And HE enjoys everyone leaving with the feeling of dissatisfaction. The craving for more never finds an end!

Many might have tried to tell me this in the past, but i don’t remember! Even if somebody had attempted it, i would have ignored that “nut case”. Now i stand here at a point where I realize that I was a nut case till this moment as i loaded my life with unnecessary pride, arrogance and self destructing attitude… I wish I could change some things. I wish I hadn’t done many things. I wish i had let myself loose many times. Look at me now… I don’t even see my reflection in the mirror!

I know I am not alone in this pothole. I see many faces here. No, not everyone is sitting and weeping. Some are trying to climb up towards the light…

Yes, i cannot rewind, but I can still change my future if i start climbing up now…


Posted: August 21, 2009 in My thoughts

As I reached the last part of ‘My life at XIME’, I found that my thoughts and words had deserted me ruthlessly… I felt like standing in no man’s land…

I think that I need some more time to craft the last chapter… Besides, some aspects of  it lies with the future… To proceed, even I have to wait… wait for the time to act! 

So I request to my dear readers to understand me and excuse me for the delay… Mean while I am starting a new fiction series and it will be on run from Monday… Hope you would enjoy it…


the beginning …

Posted: April 28, 2009 in My thoughts

April 28, 2009 – 2.37 pm …. lapillus is born …

the name came after a great amount of hard work… i was searching for an apt word in the net… then i gave up… went to XIME library and searched in dictionaries … and there i found it … i dont remember the name of the dictionary, but i clearly remembers the page number ‘666’  😉 …

I went to the computer lab and told Asha (one of my great friends) about lapillus and what its means…  She told it was awesome … & then i discussed about this with another close friend of mine  & she said that  the name sounds stupid !!! Anyway i got a great start …. i registered it and my blog is born

lapillus – the small fragments of lava blown out from a volcano … just like my thoughts … 😉 😉